If the fortress is real then where’s the ship?

While watching this past week’s episode of Smallville one main concern came to mind.  Was Clark just going to pick Chloe up – as is and take her to the fortress?  Doesn’t he remember the last time she followed him there?  The girl nearly froze to death, turned blue, needed a hospital and everything.  So in his panic he picks her up and whisks her off.  This brought me to my next question.  Why does a man impervious to heat and cold always wear a jacket?  It’s really unnecessary.  Red or Blue depending on how Bizzarro he’s feeling today, the jacket which retails around two grand if you’re of the Naked Spock variety has no purpose other than to cover Chloe when she’s about to freeze to death on the fortresses new and improved altar or to cover up Lois after a few too many drinks and a White Snake strip show.  Or was Chloe just a wimp? The weather never bothered Lex in his fashionable long trench coat or Lana in her ‘I live in Kansas and I own a winter ski-jacket coat’.

You may be asking yourself, what if the fortress was real?  You may not be, but for the purposes of this discourse you are.  What if the fortress was real?  Would Chloe need a jacket?  Where would it be?  In the mythical land of Smallville where babies explode and people are never moured after death the fortress is in apparently the north pole.  It is cold and made from the awesome power that is Clark’s Blue Krypto-Crystal, but here on earth where hardly anything cool ever happens the real fortress can be found about a thousand feet under Mexico.  Smallville keeps Mexicans underground, Mexico keeps the fortress, fair trade I guess.

crystal-cave-11The Fortress of Solitude, aka The Cave of Crystals is said to be over half a million years old found in a cavern under Naica Mountian.  National Geographic had some long description on how the mineral rich water flows down into the cavern heated by magma to create a ‘watery womb’ but I thought I’d spare you the details.  Would Chloe need a coat?  No.  The temp in the cave can reach up to 112 degrees Fahrenheit, that’s 44.444 degrees Celsius for us Canadians, making it only tolerable for twenty minutes at a time.  Which is unfortunate because everyone knows it takes at least three shouts before Jor-el answers and he talks really slow, then you need time to debate, look confused then be reminded that you’re a disappointment.  Let’s stick with Smallville.

– DoubleBitch

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~ by doublebitch on November 17, 2008.

4 Responses to “If the fortress is real then where’s the ship?”

  1. Figure I’ll point out that everyone should click on the pics.

  2. LOL this is awesome!

  3. well…. it landed last week

  4. I thought Jor-El wanted to kill Chloe when she first arrived, she was in the Fortress in season 7 and she just had a normal coat on.

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