Sam and Dean’s Guide to Sleeping with the Enemy

I sat down tonight wondering what was missing on jerk/doublebitch and it was immediately clear.  NEEDS MORE JENSEN (and yes that might have been a lanarama reference)  I got thinking back to recent Supernatural events and the one that stood out was naked time.

Sam and Dean’s Guide to Sleeping with the Enemy

First things first you need to get them to join your Scooby Gang, the mystery machine works the best but ’67 Impala will do nicely.  Convince them they need you or you need them.  Share personal information and stories, the more pain and suffering the better.  Find a common ground, bossy ominous resurrecting dad’s or sweet demon skills and your humanity. Be sure to mention that it makes you feel bad.  All else fails try whiskey or cake accordingly.  Check and make sure they’re in their own body or in a dead girl because non-con is always uncool.  Sniffle.  Don’t try too hard, she’ll probably make the first move.  

For beginners I’ve attached a step by step diagram for each situation.  Just remember to be safe, last thing we need is angel babies or a pregnant deadgirl.  Uncle Bobby doesn’t do babysitting.

demon-sex5

angel-sex11

-DoubleBitch


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~ by doublebitch on November 21, 2008.

28 Responses to “Sam and Dean’s Guide to Sleeping with the Enemy”

  1. Oh god. DYING. This is sort of amazing.

  2. Just remember to be safe, last thing we need is angel babies or a pregnant deadgirl. Uncle Bobby doesn’t do babysitting.

    I nearly cried laughing!

  3. Lmfao, omg. This is great.
    “Leave watch on.”

  4. Well, you’ve most likely got a set time when you and/or your brother is supposed to die, so you don’t want to lose track of time while sexifying.

  5. It’s true, he was supposed to die at midnight.

  6. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?
    “Oh crap, I’m late for my death! Get off of me angel, and where did my pants go?”

  7. imagine if she found her grace ontop of him.

    oops, Right… Reality. Porn.

  8. Heh. Especially when you consider how when she got it back she glowed super bright and then vanished. Best orgasm ever!

  9. SHUT YOUR EYES! SHUT YOUR EYES!

  10. Plus afterwards, Dean would totally think he just made a girl cum out of existence.

  11. or that the grace was in him all along. He’d just start a line up, never leave the impala. “You wanna be an angel? Sammy! get me another one!”

  12. Bobby would never want to ride in their car again.

  13. Dude, I so hated Anna *groan* Damn that girl is skinny though!

    Still not gonna watch that scene.

  14. you dont have to we summed it all up for you! Only thing of note was dean took off his necklace. I think that was pretty important.

  15. Mmm, and he took it off before his shirt, even. I wonder when we’ll get an explanation for what the necklace is?

  16. jajajajaja, please, so good. At least you made me laugh. That scene with Dean+Anna took my fun away completely… I found it soooo cheesy and while watching it I was like: Ohhh no no please… the steamy scene in the back of the Impala was the worst thing in SPN I’ve ever seen, aside from Bela. Seriously.
    Your analysis ROCKS !!!!!

  17. lolol. at first i was like “WHAT chad michael murray reference?” and then i saw the ad. classic, really.

  18. That’s hillarious. hahah

  19. Hee, great stuff, so glad you found me! The thing that irritated me was the bra on the whole time…I hate that shit, what girl wears a bra when having sex?

  20. Angels.

  21. Not just the female ones. Castiel wears a bra during sex too.

  22. Hey Noelbucgrl thanks for the add too!

  23. Hee, more like prude angels, what fun that sex must have been!

    Anytime, DB, love your stuff!

  24. This is the best thing ever! I like the whole “Leave watch on” thing…and the Chad Michael Murray reference! haha. PS: I’m adding you to my blogroll. 🙂

    In case my blog doesn’t link in my name: http://www.samanddean.wordpress.com.

  25. Hilarity. Heart contained the best sexy scene on the show, imho. Is it surprising that it was a Sam scene, and not Dean? Well, yea. I’ve never disliked anyone on the show, especially girls (the way I know some didn’t like Bela or Jo) but right now, I am soo annoyed with Anna and new!Ruby. Augh!

  26. Heart did have a good scene. I think it was because it was the only sex scene that wasnt in the dark. I disliked that the object of sam’s affection had also slept with half the CW though. That was creepy but sam still did the scrunchy thing and the biting. There’s a huge difference between sam and dean when it comes to the bedroom and they’re totally the oposite of what i’d think they’d be.

    Ruby 2.0 is massive fail and I’ll be okay with Anna as long as she never comes back.

  27. I’d like to say, Jo and Bela were my favourites, and I still hope that Jo will come back at some point.

  28. The “Titanic-hand” in the steamy window thing? Total cheese.

    PS. I watched this ep at work. LOL.

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