Our Anti-Love Valentines Day Post

With love and flowers and chocolate in the air, we at Jerk/DoubleBitch like to keep things fresh and why not bring back one of our most favorite holiday traditions, The Anti-Holiday Post.  So lets talk about relationships we love to hate, or maybe just hate.  These couples have been on our screens when we really wish something else had been happening.

[This is also a great time to remind you of our Twitter!  go check it out for a special V-Day treat from us]

smallvilleworstmarriageeverLex & Lana – This super couple were married despite their on again off again relationship.  It’s hard to tell if they ever really cared for each other or if they both just wanted to bang Tom Welling, I mean Clark.  People so frequently blame Clark for Lex’s inability to love but that stems way back to his parents.  If you take a look at Lionel’s track record, I think Lex came out better than Sylar on a one on one ration.  I mean, if Sylar was a millionaire… sidetracked!  Lana is annoying in any form but her I really love him fooling herself plot line is something the show and the legend could have completely done without.  He’d screwed them all over enough for her to hate.  Maybe she would have even taken off earlier.   I believe this hated relationship is best summed up by this Lanarama strip.

music_chicClark & Lana – Repeat “Lana is lame and should have left a long time ago argument”  but add years of sobbing and emo barn scenes that we’ve all suffered through.  Also see Lanarama for how we feel about this relationship.  I will say I’m glad she finally got the sendoff she deserves even if she got powers she didn’t deserve in the process.

00489xqdLois & every hero ever – Wait, let’s make that every white hero ever since she’s never bothered to go after Cyborg or Martian Manhunter.  Smallville, all about enforcing the ‘other’ stereotype.  Great.  Anyway, race issues aside Lois is easy for any man with powers or maybe it’s just the save the world complex.  I by no means think Lois should be prudish but maybe the slut thing has taken it a little far.  Aquaman? really?!   I actually liked the Ollie story line it had purpose and arc but the military raised girl cant swim and gets saved by the guy with gills.. falls for him then never thinks about him again after he disappears.  I’m glad there was a jab at that though in Justice.  Thankfully somebody has a sense of humor.

Peter & Claire – Eww.  Not an official cannon couple but the chemistry is yucky and their storyline is strangely close.  Remember?  Acting.  Real life…. Reality.  Porn.

9567729Sam & Ruby – Personally I liked him better with the old lady Bella set him up with.  That could have gone places.  Okay so maybe I’m old Ruby biased and it does make sense but it’s yucky and is throwing a wrench in the best relationship er..bromance we’ve ever seen on TV.  Maybe that’s just good writing.  It’s refreshing to hate something you’re supposed to hate.

george-izzyGeorge & Izzy – This was easily the single worst thing that the Grey’s writers ever did to poor George. Did anybody actually think this was a good idea? It made me hate Izzy even more, which is impressive because I didn’t think that was even possible. The fact that they pretty much immediately decided it wasn’t going to work after they got together managed to make it exponentially worse, too.

willow-kennedyWillow & Kennedy – I actually have nothing against Kennedy, really. I’m opposed to this couple because it happened way too soon after Tara’s death. It’s somehow worse because they’re still together in the season eight comics, because if it was too soon for any relationship, it was even more too soon (too soonest?) for a serious one. It also doesn’t help that as characters in non-Willow love interest ways, Tara was way more interesting that Kennedy.

jack-audreyJack & Audrey – Now you could argue that giving Jack Bauer any love interest is a bad idea when each season only covers one very busy day for Jack at his job (saving the country by snapping necks with his thighs), so why would his girlfriends even show up? Well, the terrorists usually need someone to threaten who’s close to Jack, and sometimes Kim isn’t available. However out of the long line of women who have swooned for Jack, Audrey is easily the worst (yes, worse than Claudia). So of course she managed to stay on the show for three seasons, when the rest usually don’t even last one. The producers must have been really impressed with her ability to cry a lot and be useless.

connor-cordy-minus-cordyConnor & Cordy – More eww than Peter and Claire. Cordy and Angel had a bit of a thing, which made her the closest thing to a mother baby Connor had. So when he was raised in a hell dimension with different passage of time than ours and just a little while after he was kidnapped popped back into our world a broody teenager, the fact that he had a thing for Cordy was a bit creepy. But not as creepy as when they started with the sexing. Ewwwww, and the main reason why four was my least favorite season of Angel.

-Jerk & DoubleBitch

[sources: 1, 2,]


~ by doublebitch on February 14, 2009.

2 Responses to “Our Anti-Love Valentines Day Post”

  1. Great list. I found Kennedy extremely annoying and didn’t like how quickly that relationship developed either.

    The less said about Gizzy the better. Worst. Idea. Ever.

    Sam and Ruby blow. Hugely blow. I liked first Ruby much better as well but I just don’t like the thought of Sammy doing a demon. Not this demon at least.

    Hee to Peter and Claire. The weird vibe underneath their uncle/niece thing just isn’t right. I think the Heroes writers watch Days of Our Lives. Explains a lot really; what with the deaths that don’t stick and all!

  2. Yes, I’m so glad the Lana is juiced up on krypto so we can be done with her once and for all! …that whiny little b!*#$

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